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Five Hilarious Pieces of Advice Every Pregnant Indian Woman Gets (#BlogathonForMums)

  • Neha
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  • Working Women
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  • 14 Dec 2015
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This entry is part of the Babyoye Blogathon for Mums

I remember waiting impatiently over the toilet on that fateful day. It seemed like an eternity for the liquid to inch across the test strip. Just when I thought I could wait no longer, the fertility Gods finally put me out of my misery.

There it was. The faint, all-important pink line. My heart did a backflip into my tummy. Yes, I thought. Yes, finally!

I walked out of the bathroom feeling divine, nervous and excited at the same time. I was going to be a MOM!

I wanted to preserve the pee stick. I wanted to tell the whole world. I wanted to gather as much advice and fill up my knowledge bank to have the best and healthiest pregnancy ever.

So I began to ask for guidance. But little did I know that if you're a pregnant woman in India, you will get not one, not ten, but a truckload of advice from all directions till you drown, gasp and struggle to breathe.

Being pregnant in a place where everyone thinks they're a maternity expert is tough job. Now as I recollect the advice thrown at me during my bump days, I am thankful for some of them. As for some others, well, I could clearly nominate them for the 'most hilarious pregnancy advice' award.

I'm sure it's every desi mum's heard at least one of these through her pregnancy. So presenting, five of the most rib-tickling tips every Indian pregnant woman probably has to subject her ears to.

Advice #1 Don't eat papaya/ pineapple during pregnancy, you will miscarry

When I heard that one, I thought, 'great, two of my favourite fruits off the list.' And we all know what happens when one is stopped from doing something. I dreamt of papayas and pineapples the whole

day. Then when I broke down in front of my doctor, he said, " you will need to eat at least 6-8 of them in one go to cause any harm. It's safe." I ran home and stuffed my face.

Advice #2 Look at pictures of cute, fair babies; your baby will look like them

Clearly, genetics doesn't have a role to play. When I was told this, I was tempted to plaster pictures of baby Hrithik Roshan and baby Salma Hayek on my walls. My husband shot the idea down and the only thing I started at through my third trimester sleepless nights was his snoring face. My baby is cute though. :)

Advice #3 Eat paneer or milk laced with saffron and sit in the dark room for a fair baby

I gagged on my green tea when I heard that. The person who said it sounded so serious. I imagined a baby in the colours of all the food I had eaten and laughed.

Advice #4 If you cut veggies on an eclipse day, your baby will be born with a cleft lip

Why we scare the poor mum-to-be is beyond me. Thankfully, I took this advice with a pinch of salt. What will we have next, an extra finger on the baby on every new moon day?

Advice #5 Eat some ghee when you go into labour; the baby will slip out quickly.

I have no clue how ghee in the stomach could grease the baby's exit hatch. I had just orange juice during my labour and still felt sick. I wonder how ghee would've made me feel? Fat- even during labour, I guess.

So here were the Indian mum’s nominations for the 'most bizarre pregnancy tips' award. Which one do you think will walk away with the prize?

Preeti Athri

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